Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
