i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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