So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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