i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
