i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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