Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
