Well douche your snatch and let's go!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
