i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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