Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
