I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
