Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We just shotgunned beers for America
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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