Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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