Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize