In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.