Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.