Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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