How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
