at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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