Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
