Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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