My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
