I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
