why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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