i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My vagina is officially offended.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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