A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
look no pants
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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