i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
dude. I can hear the air.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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