bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
