wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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