just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They took my balls.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
