I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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