I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My bed smells like the plague
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
