He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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