As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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