I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
