my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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