my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
