so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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