you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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