2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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