Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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