Dual....:-)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think i got beer on your cat.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
