i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
where am i from again
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The best revenge is premature balding
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
