it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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