She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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