I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
