I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
