I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
