You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
