so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize