id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
