I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
