Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
