he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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