my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
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Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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