dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
