i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
