I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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