2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
