you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
