yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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