My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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