yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Couch. On fire.
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